diary
When in doubt or frustration
What do you do?
blazer: VINTAGE - turtleneck: UNIQLO (s) - denim: ASOS
(s) = Similar
Frustration is brought out by the most trivial things. Comparisons and/or adversity can trigger various degrees of frustration and anger. Like many, I have felt frustration and deflated with what is going on with both the #blacklivesmatter movement and the COVID-19 global pandemic. This was heightened when I found myself looking around my circles of engagement to see many people unaffected or blind to real matters of hand. It was not that their 'unaffectedness' incited jealousy but rather a dumbfounded moment of 'WTF' which wrestled with my cultivated and curated zen mindset. How can some people be so ignorant? Whether being oblivious to the change in social media content or rules of quarantine? My mind truly boggled trying to find logic only to be disappointed by the realisation that the 'other' is an option taken by many.
So what did I do? Did I go insane? What happened next?
The first thing I did was I took a beat. Rather than wanting to rant and breed anger and bad energy I took moment for myself, focused on my breath and what was going on in my head. There are so many times where taking a beat helps to let things settle and allow for rational and guided thoughts to form. It was then I could align and focus on myself. My frustrations were fuelled by the actions of others which made me realise that I needed to cut that energy supply off. The energy fed to my mind/body/spirit should always be the best, not some cheap fuel that comes from frustrations. In the midst of being compassionate and sharing conversations, I accidentally allowed these frustrations to sneak in. These ignorant frustrating throughs had come into my temple of a mind/body/spirit and they were setting up shop, and I was not happy. So what did I do? I cut the energy source off. Whether it be unfollowing, muting and expanding my circles have changed, and for the better.
Social Media/Media is a slippery slope. I know not from just being a blogger but from working in Marketing/PR for many years. I have a love-hate relationship with it as I have always been aware of the discourse, the subliminal communication, representation and messages. There are times I have weak moments and I just want to see 'something pretty' or 'simply numbing". But more often or not and with some effort, I am challenging myself to be 'better' to do 'better'. I sometimes forget that I am in control of what I consume and what I don't, and that is far more powerful than you think. Something I am learning this year is that growth doesn't stop unless you want it to. Whether its through learning or the environments that you are placed in. That my temple can always rise with greater perspective and positivity, which outruns any cheap negativity or frustration. Doing better isn't for others, though it can be a positive byproduct. Doing and being better is selfishly for Me.