jacket: ZARA / turtleneck: UNIQLO / shorts: ELLIOTT LABEL 

tights: ASOS / sneakers: GIVENCHY 

First, it’s a wants. Then it’s a Need. 
And then it becomes a necessity.

My approach to shopping has changed. Once it was a need to treat myself to all the things I never had the balls to ask for. Then it was a desire to buy the things out of my reach. And then I moved out and the reality of buying pretty things versus surviving changed. But once I got the hang of it flipped back to buying more pretty (and expensive) things for special moments. 

I reached a point in the last 3 years where my desire to treat myself became less and less. How many shoes does one need? How many Chanel bags should one really own? It is worth it? I must say being in a relationship has also helped to change my habits. Not because I care what my partner thinks, but I’m not filling a void or proving myself through my possessions. Dare I say he’s lucky because I tend to spend a lot of money on him. But that’s another story.

Cut to being recently unemployed over a pandemic. The joys. Being financially conscious I had enough to survive, but not enough to spend on said expensive things. I took stock of my possessions and became heavily aware of my chosen level of consumption. At the moment I find myself thinking as if I’m still unemployed, saving my money like an eager squirrel with its nuts. My desire for newness is rather dull. However, my need to upgrade bits and pieces is necessary to not limit myself. 

For instance, up until recently, I had only one working Airpod which again is a first-world problem. But what was I waiting for to upgrade? or Replace?? Do I have to wait for the other one to finally drop out or lose it? Sometimes the Need trumps the desire to be frugal. So I upgraded to the AirPods Pro and I feel the convenience, and well heck I should because I paid for it. 

My money goes towards things that spark joy and convenience. It is no longer about spending to flex but rather to reward and make my life better, within reason.